I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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