I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
