Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
