I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
