We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
