Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
