The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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