you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
