oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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