Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
