I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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