well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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