I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
