is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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