I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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