she was so not down for the gang bang
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
