Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
