Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She is in my trunk
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
