Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
