Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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