I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
