How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
