so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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