Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
