I cannot find my penis.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
