After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you win again, gameday.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
