Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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