She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
