its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
