ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
