i permit you to call me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
