People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
