The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
