yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
