I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
