wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
