My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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