everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
