I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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