I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
