she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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