okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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