Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
