She said her name was "party"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
