Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
