Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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