she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
