I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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