It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
