I can text with my tongue
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
